self-trust & intuition

Many people call me for readings on potential partnerships, whether romantic or business, asking if they will be able to trust the other person. While this is an important question, and a reading is a very effective way to shed light on the character and motives of another person--the real question being asked might go quite a bit deeper than this. Consider that the underlying question is something closer to: Can I trust myself to stand in my truth and power in my dealings with this person?

Ponder the difference between these questions for a moment. The first question 'Can I trust this person' focuses on the externals--the other person’s trustworthiness or lack thereof and the actions that spring from this. The second question goes inward and looks at one’s own responsibility to oneself. This question assumes a higher level of responsibility by making the assumption that one will be responsible to the self first. Consider the power of this perception shift.

Why do many, if not most people have 'trust issues' in their relationships? On the surface, the answer to this question seems obvious. Everyone has been hurt by another person in whom trust had been placed. Many people have had this happen at a very early age and so repeatedly that it seems there is little reason to risk trusting another again. When they do enter into relationships, they do so very cautiously, yet oftentimes bringing along the expectation that they will yet again be hurt, abandoned or let down again. Of course, this belief often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Another deeper level on which to ask this question is: Might some of my trust issues stem from my own actions in the presence of others? Or, put differently: How have I subjugated my own needs and desires to another’s? This question is not about looking at ways in which you have failed in the past. It’s not about judging yourself or beating yourself up. It is about noticing those areas in your life where you are likely to sell yourself out in order to gain acceptance or approval from others.

It is my strong belief that the first step in making the resolution to do something differently is to enter into a period of noticing yourself engaging in the behavior you wish to change. This will happen regardless of one’s knowledge of this period of noticing. A crucial difference being that if one is aware of the noticing, it does not turn into guilt, which perpetuates the behavior one is attempting to let go of. This is why very few people are successful with the 'cold turkey' approach to quitting or changing a behavior. This said, one very valuable way to develop greater self-trust is to commit to keeping a record of the times when you are not true to yourself. For example: You override your own intuition in favor of a salesperson’s pitch and buy a product that is not suited to your needs. Notice it. Write it down. Do this for a month and see if your behavior doesn’t shift from just the noticing alone. Do you think you might be more likely to return an unsatisfactory product you purchased under sales pressure if you were consciously committed to this noticing? Becoming aware of the circumstances in which you choose against yourself is the first step to correcting this behavior. Bringing an unconscious behavior into consciousness is extremely powerful.

Here’s a journaling exercise to help you embrace the concept of self-trust more fully. Ask yourself: What if I could trust myself completely to act in my own best interest regardless of the situation or other people involved? Take this question into every area of your life. What would change about your experience of your life if you had complete self-trust?

As you do this, you will further develop your noticing faculties--a crucial part of your intuitive development and find yourself receiving more frequent and more clear intuitive guidance.

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What would it be worth to you to dramatically increase your self-trust and make faster, much more effective choices using your inner knowing? My Intuitive Development class is designed to help you maximize your effectiveness in life by strengthening your intuition! Give me a call today at (619) 275-1731 to sign up! Space is limited.